how do you escape from yourself

When you’re younger, you imagine a future more than you do when you actually get there, or at least in my case

As unrealistic as that future was, whether that be in the circus or being a lawyer with a house full of rabbits (insert laugh)

Funny how goals change huh..

Growing up in a farm at one point while I was in care, I’d see a red house off in the distance, to me then, that was far, an how I wished I could just be there, now being older, all I’m running from is myself

Moving from home to home, an to yet another family wasn’t an escape for me, more another chance to try an push the boundaries, which I guess was easy as there was never an emotional connection

I use the words ‘forget’ an ‘moved on’ a lot in life, when in fact its a mask of reluctance to not admit I’m actually living in the past, in a new future of both

How do we outrun a past we have already lived, perhaps create new memories to push out the old ones

We can create distance from our past, but memories are like snap shots in time, a flashback like an old video replayed over again, a new experience always compared to a similar relived moment like deja vu

this post is in a way about growing up from the naivety of a youth, to a point where understanding is a burden of maturity

To use a line from a poem I recently wrote “Another forgotten, unwritten wrong”


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