pull your hair out fun

I really need a holiday, a holiday from myself that is!

The days feel so long, an the changes lately have made me more stressed

There’s this fakeness in our family at the moment, from the outside I guess it looks like we are close, but to me it feels like we act how we think a family should be

We never know which one of us will be the next to snap

Today it was me, we were in town going to get lunch together, I just wanted to get home, I’d woke up in pain, I felt very self concious, drained, an my legs felt weak, I had followed around after mum like a sheep, while she shopped for things for an up coming wedding she’s going to, the place was full of school kids, I don’t really like people watching me eat, an I’m on a diet, I don’t want that kind of food all the time, so I was in no mood

Mum was like, ‘it would be nice to spend time together’, she was being sarky, an I got annoyed, I was like ‘fine, I’ll go just to please everyone else’

My brother kept trying to get me to at least get a salad, but by then I admit I was kinda huffing, big baby that I am, it didn’t help that he kept asking me, so when their food came I just left, an went shopping on my own

most of the time I end up following someone else around, I wonder why I bother going out at all, I never really do the things I want to do

around 6pm, I took some seroquel, just to sleep, got two hours, an felt a little better

I should be happy with the life I have, I mean compared to my life before, but I’m just not myself lately

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One response to “pull your hair out fun

  1. I’ve had times like that myself. Often, I feel as though I need a vacation from my vacations. But that’s usually the depression talking. It subsides thankfully, but it sucks considering how long it takes. I hope that this passes quickly for you.

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