The Calamity Of insanity

I woke up… (Inner monologue) “Hmm not too bad today, a little niggle of pain here an there, but all round not bad, even my mood is quite stable”

Its saturday, ‘family day’.. I’ve called it that for years, when I was in foster care, saturday was my day to go home an visit family, the names stuck, although, let’s just say its meaning is some what tarnished

Anyway…

being me, there would have to be something, like a thorn in my side, a pebble in my shoe.. Or in normal terms something to turn my day to sh*t

Today as an example, my brothers were drinking last night, all night! Although not together, regardless, they have a drinking problem, yes both! An seem to drink with any excuse they can, I didn’t feel like visiting or being around it, or them, suddenly no one really

everyone around me seems so self centred an self absorbed lately, I’m sometimes guilty myself

just the mood of the day an other things that don’t need to be said, put a dampener on everything, an I just came on home

I feel like our family is kind of falling apart, drifting apart, just today I was talking to my mum, saying how we almost seem to be the rejects of the family (the members I’m close with) an that is why we stick together, there doesn’t seem to be a closeness

But then what am I comparing it to, you just know I guess

I said maybe its as we didn’t grow up together, which mum replied, maybe, but she felt close to me, but didn’t know how I felt… I thought for a minute, an my honest opinion was that, it comes an goes, I’m like that with everyone really

Thinking about it now, that wasn’t really a normal conversation to have, if you have to question family ties, then that should be the clue that something isn’t right, right??

SoOo here I am, home alone again, complaining about my life, an probably boring someone else with my nonsense

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