Attention Deficit Love

Is there the opposite to ‘crying wolf’

is that what I’ve done, exhausted my cries for help… Is a willing ear too much to ask for, are people bored of me now, is that why no one ever listens, why no one seems to care??

Deep breath… My head is what people call fried! An I can feel myself beginning to crack under the stress, most of which I pile onto myself

My home life is becoming so tedious

I had a bad virus for a couple of weeks, an have suffered from pain for years.. My brother gets a minor flu, an its like he’s dying or something, he hurt his back from trying to lift someone while drunk, an he’s acting like he’s crippled, an everyone is lapping it up

I’ve never been in trouble, while my two brothers have convictions pouring from the sky, an that gets them a weird kind of sympathy, I’d be ashamed!

I’m not jealous, I’m more or less pissed off that if you try your best to not effect others with your drama, you’re almost punished with ignorance

Should I sow a bottle of drink to my lips, an get arrested to be noticed around here?

My home life is getting to me, the walls are closing in, an I am crumbling, the people around me an my daily routine are driving me insane

I told my doctor that I wanted to be signed into somewhere to get proper help, I’m thinking hard about it… But talking to someone for a few minutes a day, getting more pills, an being institutionalised an living with strangers, some who are a lot worse than me for however long, is a lot to think about to convince myself

I’m pretty much done with talking really, I’ve been doing it for ten years now, an it feels like I’m reading from a script as I’m constantly repeating myself

I’m surprised the doctors don’t offer me crackers, as I’m some sort of messed up parrot these days

This is the depression talking, I know it well, I just need to calm down an get some sleep, wake up with a fresh mind an go from there


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