False Highs, An Real Lows

~ “Hard times, as you’ll find, are only just a state of mind” ~

An so the rollercoaster continues….

Today i woke up with a lisp an a slur from my medication last night, a thumping headache an very lethargic, these ups an downs are worse than just being down all the time, not like false hope, but more like having a relapsed virus, but all in all I feel a lot better after how I felt last night

Its hard when you realise that the only way to make it through the day, is if you get some sort of high from your medication, living with an altered state of mind is the only way I can live right now

I haven’t heard from the mental health team today, they were too busy, I’d guess they only phoned to cover their own back in the first place were I to do anything

An the way they talk to you, like a child, I’m unstable not fragile, I’m not going to break

Also I felt like a fool in the pharmacists, asking for my diazepam, the women was all serious “you already got your two days supply” like I was some kind of junkie, ts not my fault, I didn’t know the doctor is only allowing me two days worth at a time

I got myself into that situation so I only have myself to blame, but a weeks supply wouldn’t kill me anyway, I can see the sentiment behind it, but come on

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