I’m feeling really guilty..
I was in such a mood today, so tired, no energy, an so angry inside, so I thought it best to not talk at all, I didn’t for a long time, I didn’t feel I had anything nice to say, an I didn’t wanna snap at anyone
My mum noticed I was very distant, I just told her I felt so lost, so empty, like I’ve gotten lost in this depression
It got me thinking, I’m so selfish, what must my mum be thinking, her own child would rather die, would rather hurt the people who love him
I just feel so consumed at the moment, its like I’ve been possessed by a darkness
I’m feeling slightly abandoned by my doctor also, he knows how fragile I am at the moment, an the mental health team haven’t rang, even though I left them a message
I have an appointment with then on the 2nd of february, but until then, where does that leave me, should I have to be the one who crawls back to the doctor again, have to explain how I’m still feeling no better, beg for more help??
I’ve been left in a strange kind of limbo, I haven’t been as unstable, but then lately I’m basically dead inside, almost void of emotion, so how can I feel bad, when I can barely feel anything
My tablets are doing nothing for me, I’m trying my best, but I might as well be eating smarties
Time is all I have right now…