I’m Not A Robot

I guess I have two types of days that I refer to, either ‘happy’ or ‘weird’ I like when I can say ‘today is a happy day’ an today is one of them…

I’ve gained back a little control over my moods, an I’m feeling more stable for now, everything isn’t perfect, but when is life ever perfect

I’ve just relaxed today, an not done very much, my brother even made me dinner, as I said before, he’s ok when sober, almost the perfect brother, we did grow up together, although we have drifted apart over the years, we will always have a different bond, compared to the others

Its just his own personal struggle, an I shouldn’t judge him too much for it, sometimes I just get so consumed by what I’m going through, I forget about others, I don’t mean to be selfish, but perhaps I need to keep others in mind too, an i should form my own opinions, an not get caught up in the rest of my families

I remember my brother once told me that I’d changed, that I wasn’t the old me anymore, I just thought that I’d grown up, an had become more ‘mature’ an although that’s partly true, he’s right, I have lost myself over the years

I am trying to lighten up, an be a better person, the old me is still in here, an sometimes he shines through, I’ve kind of forgotten who I am an how to just be myself

I find myself looking up google ‘how to be a better person’, I’ve become that void an good at pretending to be something I’m not… that I’ve lost ‘me’ even more, I shouldn’t need to read things to help fill in my personality, I’m not a robot, I should stop trying to program myself, an just live, how I used to

Though, we can’t be who we are without a little help from others, I do like when I can learn something about myself from other people, an I’m willing to

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