Burnt Sugar

So where am i??…

I haven’t posted in a while, I took one of my followers advice, an stayed away from everything to do with what I’m going through, an it has helped me

I stayed away from my doctors until yesterday, it was DR H, an he was no help at all, I was complaining of abdominal pains, but didn’t want to be examined again, I just didn’t want to be touched

He started being silly then, joking that he really wanted to examine me, an at one point pretending he had to hold his hand back from me, so immature, an so unprofessional

So you can see why I find it hard to truly express how I feel, an to get the proper help I feel I need

On another note:

I have an appointment on the 12th, to fill in an application form to attend a day centre, for people like me, I’m wondering is it a good idea, surrounding myself with mentally ill people on a regular basis

But perhaps I’ll meet people who are an inspiration to me, on the other hand I could just end up meeting people who are lost, an who wallow in their own misery… But misery loves company right

In my personal life, i feel like I’m having to tolerate the people around me, because they keep bringing me down, an creating unwanted drama in my life, I need to separate myself from them, an my surroundings

I need to step back from my life, an everyone in it, just for a while, a change of view, so to speak

Also I keep having this feeling that there’s this darkness inside me, it wants to be set loose, it wants chaos, but for now I’m in control, an today, I’m actually in a good place mentally

My life has always been a rollercoaster of highs an lows, an uncontrollable emotions, Its just being strong enough to deal with it that’s the problem

But the fact that I’m in a place where I’m willing to try again, is a good start

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