Different Day, Same Life

I wish I knew the answers, I wish someone, anyone did, to help me

Today I wasn’t present at all

It started with me feeling tired, my medication was fuelling that from the night before

Running thoughts of how my life is so predictable lately, an I’m tired of just going through the motions

I’ve been staring off into space, all day, lost in my own mind, losing myself, an only finding bitter, twisted emotions when I surfaced again

Its come to the point where there isn’t anything to say to the people I know anymore, because I see them everyday, so I find myself caught up in pointless conversations

I find myself just nodding along, a smile… Inside I’m dead, an I wonder what am I doing here, I feel like life has literally, sucked the life from me, I’m like some kind of hollowed out shell, the lights are on, but no ones home anymore

Its hard to explain my emotional state, but its like I’ve split of into this other side of me, where i feel like I’m losing my mind, an the scary thing is, is that I can’t fight it

All that’s left, is this empty, bitter, lonely thing that yearns for attention, some evil poison, that feeds off of the emotions of others, an I hate what I’ve become

The doctor warned me before, too much, an I’ll burn out, I’m heading for some kind of break down, an where this chapter of my life ends, is something I don’t know, but what I do know is, is that I’m not in control anymore

So what do you do, when you’ve tried again an again, to no avail, fought your way back, time an time again, but you keep being pulled under, an everyone has abandoned you, they don’t know how to help you, an you can no longer help yourself

Mental illness comes with a shovel, an its up to each individual, how far down they dig themselves into the dark pit of despair, in my case, I’m not alone in the process, an people around me, I feel, are only to happy to sit back an watch me do it

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s