Today is a beautiful day, the sun is shining, I envy the care free, not a care in the world type of people, how I wish I could be more like them

How I wish I could just walk outside, walk down the street an smile to myself, because I’m happy an feel content, sadly I don’t have it that easy

Today for me was like a whirlwind, my aunts house is like its own little planet, so much happens under one roof, an its because of that, mostly negative, you can’t help but feel it gives off bad energy, it drags you down, an its not a good feeling

My older brother again was in a mood, there’s always something, an the verbal abuse my aunt gets from him is disgusting, an its on a daily basis

I learned a long time ago, to keep my mouth shut, because there’s nothing you can say, so its better to not get involved, its just not normal, an although its not directed at me, it affects me mentally, its just toxic, and its relentless

Then I have my mum, taking her meds up an alleyway, because its such a source of rows within the family, how they affect her, so now she doesn’t want to be seen taking them

So today there she was again, stumbling around like she’d been drinking, slurring her words an falling asleep, an the worst part is, if you confront her, even in a mature, calm manner, she plays the part of the victim, an I’m really getting tired of it, you know how its affecting people around you, yet you continue to do it, an when people try to help her, its like we are bullies

My older brother handles it in the wrong way, but the softly approach doesn’t work either, I’ve given up trying

I actually watch the clock now, waiting to be home, wishing I wasn’t there, so I will take time away from them, I can’t handle it anymore, its too stressful

I’ve explained some of what I’ve talked about in this post in greater detail in other posts, so I won’t rehash it all in this one

Now i’m so glad to be home, I can shut myself away, an recharge, take a deep breath an process everything


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