Hearts Last Beat Of Love

I haven’t really felt like myself since my date on saturday, its an emotion I’m trying to bury, an just get on with my life

Come sunday, I tried my best to be how we were with each other all along, but it felt strange, I’ve now left the site where we met, I also decided not to message her, I wanted to give her the chance to message me, to see if she was mature enough, or cared enough to miss me, an also to help me make up my mind once an for all.. Tonight will be three days, and nothing

It can be viewed as ‘mind games’… But I don’t mean it in that way, its give an take, I’m done making all the effort, if there were real feelings there, you couldn’t go for days without talking to that other person, so after tonight, in my mind, its over, sometimes sadly that’s life, an i won’t be blogging about it again after today

I’m proud of myself though, I opened my heart to someone again, I let my guard down, let someone in, I went on a date, miles from where I live, on my own, fought my fears an social phobia, an came out the other side

I won’t let myself get into that situation again though, where there are feelings involved before you truly know who that other person really is, I guess how ‘normal’ people do things, it gets too complicated an messy, i do believe in love, an it does work out for some people, an I wish those people only happiness

We need to learn how to smile on our own, an not always rely on someone else to make us happy

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