Where Did It All Go Wrong

When you’re younger, you say, I want this this an this, I wanna be that, an do that blah blah…. If that me, could have looked forward an seen what he was going to become, I think he’d be afraid, I know he’d cry, yet… Would anything have changed

I’m in this place where, I know no one can help me, an I’m doing all these things, that I think will help me feel better, but they really don’t, whether that be making all these ridiculous plans for my life, rushing into dead end relationships, or practically staving myself for the past week, but then today bingeing until I feel sick

Building myself up just to pull myself down again, to the point where I’m a stressed out, paranoid wreck, who looks tired, an worn out…

I feel emotional, all the time, I want to cry everyday, but for some reason I can’t, it must be the medication stopping me, you might think that’s a good thing, but for me it isn’t, I can’t release the pain

Its one pill to make me go to sleep, an one pill to do the opposite, which results in the ups an downs of daily emotional states that are exhausting, I hate taking them, yet if I stop my meds, I feel too much, then some days i just want to abuse my meds to sleep, to just end the day, to escape from reality I guess

As dramatic as it sounds, hell really is a place on earth sometimes, but at least this blog is a place where I can vent my frustrations, to get it out there, to have it said, an not keep it all bottled up inside


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