Stable But Fragile

Finally, whatever this is that I’ve been going through, I’d guess it was a bad period of depression 。。。Is finally passing, an i’m finally back in control, its still lingering, but I’m strong enough to cope again

Depression is such a dark an lonely place, where you feel so helpless an alone, its like being trapped, an only having your loneliness an fears for company, you can’t see any way out, an after a while you do begin to give up trying, because it takes so much of yourself from you, your very self

I don’t like being that person, in that place, consumed with the fear, an all that anger an emotion, it eats you up inside an leaves you hollow, even toward your closest loved ones

I’m feeling much better, even though I’ve ran out of seroquel, I haven’t had any for a couple of days now, which has made me feel a little funny inside, things have become a little more vivid, which makes me wonder what kind of a zombie I was, but no longer noticed, also things feel more real, if that makes sense, an its a little scary, like a bubble around me has burst

I’m more stable, but still feel fragile, but I’m glad that hopefully living in that hell has passed, even if it is just for a while

You don’t know unless you’ve been there, how much more the world seems like a beautiful place, when you’ve been to your own personal hell an back

Only people, who struggle like we do, will truly understand what its like, the mind holds a lot of control over us, we can only try our best to stay strong, but anyone can tell you that, anyone can tell you what to do, an how to handle things, an how to live your life, but turning those words into actions is easier said than done

I’m taking one day at a time, because we all know how fast things can change, but I’m happy to be free from that whirlwind of a nightmare


2 responses to “Stable But Fragile

    • Thank you, yes it was a scary couple of weeks, my head was all over the place, an I allowed the slightest of things to get on top of me

      I felt so trapped, an to be honest powerless…

      But I’ve come around, enough to see sense, an hopefully it has past, I won’t breathe a sigh of relief just yet, but its looking good

      Thanks for caring x

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