They Don’t Know Me, Not Anymore

Things have changed lately, an so have I, mainly due to the grip of whatever this is I’m going through, but sometimes the raw emotions of depression, if it hasn’t yet clouded your mind, can open you up to the truth, its like it lifts the veil of life, an you get to see things an people for who an what they really are, an I have, its admitting to yourself, which is the next step

The people around me make me so angry, an frustrated, they always have, but not on this level, its now to the point where I’m actually beginning to feel hatred towards them, their stories an problems are so mind numbingly boring, an they seem to want nothing more than to be the centre of attention

Yes they love me, or at least what they believe love is, but its more of a need than anything else, I fill a need, an that’s it, they don’t know it, but they are killing me, not literally, but mentally, weighing me down, suffocating me, an stifling me

Its like a flower in the dessert, clinging on to life, when everything around it should have killed it by now, but somehow, its hung on in there, but regardless, it’ll never grow, not fully, not where it is

I know I can’t turn to them, I never could, an I’m tired of putting on a fake smile around them, pretending that I care, an that I’m interesting in what they have to say, when I no longer do

Without them, I don’t really have anyone, an I think that’s the only reason I’m still here, I feel like a caged bird who just wants to spread his wings an fly the coop, sadly my wings are clipped for now, an I have to make the best of what I have

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