We Are Individuals, Because We Weren’t Made The Same

For a while lately, I thought things were looking up for me, but my mind has this strange ability to switch off my emotions, yet directs them into anger an feeling vengeful, its like something else inside takes over, perhaps the part of me I call tylar, who’s trigger seems to be anything negative, or when I’m really happy

I become impulsive, an I lose my will to care anymore, I become emotionally numb, I feel like I don’t need anyone, I don’t want anyone, yet I have this urge for affection and love, that burns inside, almost like an urgent desperation, I become angry, inside I’ll feel the chaos building up, an the desire to be destructive and reckless

I don’t want this life anymore, I don’t want the torture of waking up to another day of my own personal hell, an so much inner turmoil

I just want to be alone, I don’t want friends, I don’t want my family, I wanna be free from everything I know, everything I’ve ever known, an everyone, drift away on a cloud, or float away in a never ending ocean, that’s just how I’m feeling

There comes a point when you know you aren’t stable enough anymore to be in control of your own life, life in general is such a big responsibility, an I’m overwhelmed by it, consumed by it an its resulting emotions, I just wish I could switch it all off, an all the noise, not just around me, but also in my head

Its easy for people to give advice, or wonder why someone just can’t snap out of it, just because you were able to, but we aren’t as strong as each other, not everyone is strong enough to overcome it, we are individuals, because we weren’t made the same

I see the mental health team tomorrow, an I think I’ve just given up, but by then I could feel the complete opposite, that’s up to my mind I guess, but not everyone can be saved, an sometimes we don’t want to be

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