Christmas Wishes

The other day, just sitting in the back of my step dads car, looking out at the beginnings of christmas, the lights, the trees, even the frosty sparkle that christmas has, it made me think of, in a way how lucky I am to have what I guess I take for granted

There’s something about being on a car journey, an looking out the window at everything passing by, that makes you drift into your own mind and self reflect

I couldn’t help think about how out there this christmas, there will be people without anything, people who won’t be with, or have no family, people spending that day in hospital, the people sitting at home alone, and the homeless

It makes me think, about how in the past, at christmas and new year, people I know would go out and celebrate, my social phobia prevented me from joining in, and I’d sit at home alone, either eating a left over turkey sandwich, or doing the count down to midnight watching it on tv, seeing the crowds around the world out celebrating together, an I would feel so alone

If I think about it, that’s selfish, even that is a luxury compared to some people, for the year ahead, I really feel like I need to look beyond my fears, and illness, and learn to see the light in the dark

I have changed a little over the years, gotten a bit stronger, and have been one of the crowd the last couple of years

Still, i need to learn to appreciate what I have, an what I’ve been given, not to let so much of my life go to waste anymore, to be selfish in a good way, and live my life for those who can’t

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