New Short Story: Tell Me I’m Beautiful

Here it is, my new short story ‘tell me I’m beautiful’ I finished it quicker than I thought I would

Hope you enjoy it 🙂

‘tell me you want me’

‘I want you’

‘Tell me you need me’

‘I need you’

‘Tell me I’m beautiful’

‘You’re beautiful’

‘Liar!.. You’re still thinking of her, you don’t want me, you want her’

‘Shannon no!

The memory fades…

A pale face reflects back in the cracked mirror, the smeared lipstick and running mascara, the telling signs of a girl lost in darkness

‘I’m beautiful, I am beautiful’ the teary whimpering voice of a girl echoing through the dark hall ways

Her blonde hair moving slowly through an old brush’

One year later:

‘Mum, please stop staring at me’

‘Don’t be like that shannon, I’ve just missed you so much, I’m so proud of how far you’ve come’

Shannon moved further over on the back seat, blocking her mums view of her in the rear-view mirror

‘If you cared that much, you would have come to visit me in the hospital, you didn’t come once mum, not once, not even a phone call’

‘… You know I couldn’t, the doctors wouldn’t allow it, you know this, it was part of your recovery, no reminders of your past until you got better’

‘Better’ shannon smirked

Better, that word swirled in shannons mind as it drifted back

‘You should have more confidence in yourself shannon, you’re a really pretty, smart young woman with her whole life ahead of her’

‘Really doctor, you think I’m pretty’

‘Very much so’

Shannons mothers voice then suddenly snapped her out of her daze

‘The doctors were amazed and praising you for such a fast turn around, they never thought you’d come this far so soon’

The rest of the journey was in silence, and though the two woman weren’t speaking they both were smiling, one with pride, the other ominously

‘Here we are, home sweet home’

‘Yeah for three days, then its back to the hospital again’ shannon relied sarcastically

‘Let’s not fight, can we just make the most of it’ her mum said feeling the tension

‘Yeah ok tomorrow, right now, its been a long day an I just need sleep’ shannon grabbed her bags an headed to her room

‘Just shout if you want anything up’ her mum shouted up after her

Shannon hesitated before walking into her room, it was the first time she’d been back here since her psychotic down ‘breathe shannon’

The room was just how she remembered, but somehow lifeless, empty, walking to her bed, she caught a glimpse of herself in the long mirror ‘its just a mirror’ with a deep breath she turned to face it, the more she stared at her reflection, the more her thoughts began to swirl

No one will ever want you, you’re a monster, you’re crazy, you’ll end up alone when people realise what you really are

‘Stop it’ shannon shouted lifting a sheet and throwing it over the mirror

‘Did you call me’ she heard her mum shout from downstairs ‘no mum’ she said hoping her mum wouldn’t come up to check on her

Shannon fell back on the bed as her mind drifted back again

‘She’s so pretty’ shannon thought angrily as she flipped the pages of another magazine ‘I wish I had a body like hers, her eyes, her smile’

‘I bet he’d chose her over me, I should be the one in these magazines, I should be the one he wants’

Angrily she grabbed the nearby pair of scissors, now screaming and scratching at the magazine models eyes, grabbing at the pages tearing them out, throwing the magazines off the bed hyper-ventilating in tears

The memory faded as shannon drifted into a deep sleep

Day One

After a day of bad tv, a quiet dinner with her mum, an the swirling thoughts in her head, shannon was crawling the walls ‘I need to get out, I need to get out of this house’

Stealing a bottle of her mums wine, shannon got dressed, slowly losing her inhabitations, she gave herself a final look in the mirror ‘you’re beautiful’ she said smiling at her reflection

Leaving, shannon met her mum at the bottom of the stairs ‘Why are you all dressed up’

‘I’m going out’

Her mum looked worried ‘At this time, its getting late, where are you going’

‘Just a club, I need to get out, just for a while, I won’t be long I promise, you can trust me I’ll be fine, I won’t drink, I’ve ordered a taxi, I’ll get one home’

Her mum hesitated, but she knew this was part of her daughters recovery ‘I do trust you, just.. Be careful’

Reaching the club, shannon walked to the bar an ordered herself a drink, as her head began to swirl from the alcohol, a couple on the dance floor caught her eye ‘he’s cute’ she thought ‘an she’s… perfect’ her mind began to race imagining herself as the woman in pink on the dance floor ‘would he want me’ she thought

Her mind drifted back again

Shannon, do you know why you’re here’

‘I… I tried to kill my boyfriend’

‘Your jealousy and obsession drove you to murder’

Shannon ran to the bathroom, locking herself in one of the cubicles, she began to cry and her mind seemed to take control ‘…Its not you, its her, she made you feel this way, she’s the one to blame’ whipping herself into an hysterical jealousy fuelled frenzy she left the club an ran home

Reaching home, she steadied her nerves, ‘you’re home early’ she was hoping to avoid her mum ‘yeah, told you’ shannon forcing a smile, her mum grew slightly suspicious, but decided not to push it

Shannon sat on her bed, taking deep breaths ‘I know he’d want me’ the same thought repeating itself, turning on some music shannon looked through her closet, finding a pink dress she slipped it on an began to dance, the woman in pink flashing in her mind the whole time, the way she looked, the way she moved ‘I can be just like her, an then he’d want me’

Day Two

Shannon awoke that morning the night before like a bad dream, still in her pink dress an the CD player skipping in the background, realising she’d passed out

Washing of the night before, shannons mind began to wonder, blurred memories and flashbacks from the night before began to play out in her mind

It was the woman in pink, laughing, dancing, so beautiful, the way she looked, the way she moved, then the flashbacks took a darker turn, shannon was now following the woman, feelings of anger, resentment an jealousy surging within her ‘I didn’t follow her home’ shannon thought ‘no I… I came straight home.. Didn’t I?

The thoughts wouldn’t leave her mind, trying to block them, and the confusion out, she grabbed the bottle of wine she’d stole from her mother, finishing It off ‘it was a dream, just a dream’ she kept repeating to herself

Getting dressed, shannon needed to get out again, her thoughts wouldn’t leave her alone

‘Mum, I’m going out for a run’ she shouted, leaving before a reply, running was a thing she did in the past when her thoughts were so loud she couldn’t hear herself think

Shannon had been running for some time, stopping, she looked around, now realising she had no clue where she was, she looked around to see if she could find someone to ask for directions, hearing a door opening behind her, she slowly turned around, then suddenly froze, it was the woman in pink, all shannon could think to do was turn and run, her thoughts now louder than ever, now realising it couldn’t all have been just a dream

Finding her way eventually, shannon passed an off licence on her way home, an inner voice seemingly luring her in, leaving the shop an finally reaching home, she quickly ran up to her room before her mum could see the alcohol, spying her medication on the bedside locker, she grabbed them an threw them in the bin ‘who needs those when I have this’ she thought, stashing a bottle of vodka under her pillow

That night, after ignoring her mum all day, shannon pulled out the bottle of vodka ‘this is my real recovery’ she said putting on some music, dancing and throwing back the vodka at an alarming rate, she caught sight of the pink dress she’d earlier tossed on the floor ‘all eyes on me’

Falling back on her bed, her head and room spinning, she thought she might throw up, grabbing the bin, she noticed the medication she’d earlier thrown away, without giving it a second thought she removed the tablets, now washing them down with more vodka

She had only one thing on her mind now, the club, leaving the house, this time she didn’t even tell her mum she was leaving ‘are you ok miss’ asked an elderly couple on the way ‘what do you care’ shannon laughed

Reaching the club, she gathered herself together to make sure she’d get in, the loud music, the lights, the vodka and medication, shannon was now completely intoxicated, after a bit of dancing and more drinks, shannon noticed the guy and woman in pink again on the dance floor, the jealousy again surging within her

Moving onto the dance floor, the woman in pink was now nowhere to be seen, shannon knew this was her moment, approaching the guy now dancing alone, she began to dance for him, luring him in, whispering in his ear, grabbing his shirt and leading him off the dance floor

Shannon pulled the guy into the woman’s bathroom, locking them both in a cubicle, after some time the guy left smiling, shannon now fixing her dress ‘what have I done’ she thought, she felt dirty, she felt guilt

Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, she could barely see her reflection as the medication and alcohol took a stronger hold

‘He doesn’t want you, he never did, he used you’ the voices in her mind echoed, gripping the edge of the sink in so much anger she broke a nail ‘no’ she shouted back to the voices ‘he’s with her again’ the reply, in a fit of rage she grabbed the nearby waste bin, throwing it at her reflection, shattering the mirror to pieces

Grabbing a piece of glass, she squeezed it until it cut into skin, making her bleed, she now looked at her bleeding hand breathing deeply

The bathroom door opened, shannon looked up in shock, her blurred vision affecting her sight ‘are you ok’ the woman asked, it was the woman in pink ‘ok… Am I ok’ shannon laughed ‘that’s the question you should be asking…’

Shannon grabbed another piece of mirror, now approaching the woman in pink she quickly grabbed her hair, pulling her head down, driving the piece of mirror into her stomach ‘now I’m ok’

As shannon began to regain her senses a little, she realised what she’d done, looking at her hands, now covered in blood, the woman in pink now lying on the floor

The fear, the adrenalin, the alcohol and medication all became too much, her head dizzy, everything went black

Day Three

Shannon found herself standing in a long dark hall way, a dimly lit room the only real light in the distance, a womans voice now calling her name

Moving slowly toward the door, the light growing darker, shannons mind was working over time ‘that voice… So familiar’

Pushing open the door, there lay a lifeless body on the floor, ‘the bathroom from the club’ she thought, shannon stood in the door way, too afraid to take another step, the womans face was hard to make out, almost a blur, shannon gasped realising what she was looking at, the blonde hair, the pink dress

Shannon tried to turn, to run, but she couldn’t, something wouldn’t let her, something was drawing her in, ‘hello’ shannon said hesitantly, not really knowing what else to say, no reply… Shannon slowly started walking toward the body, suddenly the head turned, making shannon jump, but at the same time froze her to the spot

‘No… No… I killed you’ shannon could hardly breath now as the woman on the floor began to move, began to get up, the blonde hair now completely covering her face, shannon tried to run, again she felt frozen to the spot

As the woman drew nearer, the pink dress suddenly started turning a dark red, as it became soaked with blood, reaching for her stomach the woman in pink removed a large piece of glass

‘Please.. Please don’t’ shannon could hardly say the words

The woman in pink stopped, and holding the jagged piece of glass now looked up at shannon, the blonde hair moving away from her face ‘no… No it can’t be’ she shouted in complete shock at what she saw, shannon was now staring back at herself ‘I’m the woman in pink’

Shannon closed her eyes ‘this isn’t real, this isn’t real, this isn’t real’ she kept repeating over an over, slowly opening her eyes again, shannon gasped as she was now the one holding the piece of glass, standing over her own body, who was looking back at her with the most evil of smiles

Shannon screamed as the dream faded…

‘Shannon… Shannon’

Hearing her name shannon slowly came too, looking around she quickly realised she was in a hospital bed, her mum by her side ‘where am I… What happened’ now becoming confused ‘mum’ she asked

‘Yeah honey its me’ her mum replied now taking her hand ‘what happened’ shannon asked again

‘Don’t you remember, shannon you were attacked’

‘Attacked’ shannon asked

‘Yeah sweetie, you were found in the bathroom of the club, someone attacked you, you’re lucky you were found just in time, but you’re going to be ok’

‘Can you remember anything…’ Her mind a blur, her memory a blank, shannon just nodded

‘When the doctors were bringing you in they said you were mumbling something about a woman in pink, about hurting her, trying to kill her, what did you do shannon, who did you try to kill’

Shannon tried to sit up, a piercing pain in her stomach making her wince, pulling back the blanket, a bandage on her stomach now soaking in blood, the night before flashed through her mind as she looked up in shock ‘myself’

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