Take Two

As I mentioned last night, it was my mums 50th birthday, an we all went for a nice meal together, my younger brothers girlfriend ended up not coming, as they had fallen out an are still arguing

My brothers eventually came to the restaurant, after drinking an being in the pub for some time, they were both drunk. I’m so glad the place wasn’t that busy, because I felt so embarrassed an ashamed, they were talking so loud, mum had to constantly ask them to be quiet, they were being rude to the members of staff, saying really inappropriate sexual things, my older brother told a waitress he wanted to have sex with her at one point, only in a more vulgar way, thankfully I don’t think she heard him, then sending side orders back, saying they were sh*t portions an wanted more, instead of asking politely, then they kept messing around punching each other, all the while ordering pint after pint

We were glad just to get it over with, an get out of there, my older brother was covered in pepper sauce as he staggered up the road with another box of beer

I only had two vodka an cokes, mainly to help lift the edge an get through the dinner, I didn’t want to risk drinking anymore

When I got home last night, it was the worst night so far, every time I kept drifting off to sleep, I kept waking up gasping for air, an had pains in my chest, I had to cancel my driving lesson today, because I just wasn’t up to it, I don’t think the instructor was too happy about it, but if I don’t feel well, why would I risk driving

Today my brothers came down to our house, after staying up all night drinking, they said they had fallen out with a friend they were drinking with last night, an that my younger brother had hit him, saying there was blood everywhere, an that my aunts house is wrecked, though she’ll be the one they expect to clean it

They stayed for about two hours, in which time it was like looking after two children, again the sexual chat, asking me very intimate questions which I refused to answer, they talked the same way to mum, why would you talk to your mum that way

Again they were punching each other, sometimes taking things too far, my mum had a tub of paint set out to touch up the hall way, my younger brother put some paint on his forehead as a stupid joke, not to be left out, my older brother copied him, only with a lot more, when he tried to wash it off, it spread across his whole face, it was in his hair an eyebrows an beard hair, just like a big baby

When my mum was cleaning paint he had gotten on the carpet, he kept kicking her on the bum, when we were talking in the living room, he kept punching me in the arm, an throwing pillows at mums face, an instead of going to the toilet, he stood at the back door an just pee’d there, which my mum had to throw bleach over an scrub

At one point he grabbed a lump of our dogs skin an lifted her off the ground, the poor thing was crying, an then he punched her, so you can imagine what it was like, my step dad agreed to give them a lift home, of course just to get rid of them

Today is my step dads birthday, I know what are the chances! then my younger brothers birthday is on sunday, mum my step dad an I are going out for a meal, just the three of us this time, that’s the best way sometimes

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5 responses to “Take Two

    • Its easy to get dragged down along with them, so I do avoid them for short periods of time, or until I feel like I can deal with it emotionally 🙂

  1. Jeez! I’m so sorry this happened to you. I’m currently in the process of breaking free from the toxic people in my life and unfortunately, that means family. Awareness is key and it sounds as though you’re doing an awesome job with that. Good for you!

    On a completely different note, I’ve nominated you for a Liebster Award. Maybe it will lift your spirits a little bit? Or, at the very least, give your mind a break from all this negativity. There’s no pressure whatsoever to follow through with the process; just know that you’re so very deserving of such an award. Here’s the link, in case you’re interested: http://www.suenoel.com/what-an-honor/

    Please take good care of yourself. Many, many warm thoughts are currently on their way to you. 🙂

    • Thank you 🙂 that’s one of the nicest comments I’ve had on my blog

      Its hard when it comes to family because there’s a lot of emotion involved, especially when dealing with your own problems and illness, they’re also the most difficult ones to distance yourself from, because no matter what happens you can’t help but get drawn back in, because after all, they are family

      I find it easier to take them in small doses, an create some space, its healthier that way

      • Awww! What a nice thing for you to say. You are so welcome, my friend. Thank you, right back atcha. 🙂

        I completely agree with you. I have a difficult time creating healthy boundaries with people in general, but it’s a totally different story when family is involved. I really do understand this kind of push and pull struggle.

        And then we have our own issues thrown into the mix, on top of everything else. The line of where my problems end and where their’s begin is very blurry. But I’m involved in all of it, so sometimes it feels like one big jumbled mess.

        Creating some space is absolutely necessary – I’m with you – but it’s such a difficult process (especially starting out, which is where I currently am.) I know it gets easier over time… I just can’t wait for that to happen!

        We’re doing the healthiest and most loving thing we can possibly do for ourselves. I’m proud of you, and I’m proud of me, too! Definitely keep me posted on your progress. 🙂

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